Why Won’t You Aplogize
Why we chose this title
Apologies occur almost daily in our lives, but do we ever pause to think about how an apology should be offered or received?
How often do we say ‘I’m sorry’ but don’t actually mean it?
How are we supposed to react when we receive an apology after being hurt?
Knowing how to deliver or receive an apology is essential for a functioning relationship.
Apologies allow us to let go or forgive, they are at the heart of personal growth.
Harriet Lerner guides us through this complex topic and illustrates the different aspects of heartfelt apologies.
Book Summary
Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the pain or hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.
Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why those who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
About the Author
Harriet Lerner, PhD is best known for her scholarly work on the psychology of women and family relationships, and for her many best-selling books. Feminism and family systems theory continue to inform her writing. She has dedicated her writing life to translating complex theory into accessible and useful prose, and has become one of our nation's most trusted and respected relationship experts.
Where to buy it
Please support your local independent book stores or order on bookshop.org